Vintage SNL

This is going to date me, but while working out today I remembered a skit from the original Saturday Night Live cast with John Belushi and Dan Akroyd. It took place on the deck of a ship from the days of sail. Belushi was Captain Ned, Akroyd was the first mate, every hand was a masochist, and the ship was called the Raging Queen. Struggling to finish 10 minutes of power hang-clean, push-presses, my mind flashed back to another vessel.

While in college I rowed on the freshman crew. I sometimes took the bow seat on the first boat, but mostly stroked the second boat. As a freshman, a lightweight and an oarsman on the second boat, I was the lowest of the low, a poor relation of the untouchables. My boat, an 8 man coxed sweep, a battered thing of marine plywood that nobody wanted, was also named the Raging Queen.

How this name passed muster with the university's athletic department, we never knew. Either the powers that be didn't stay up past prime time and so couldn't possibly know about SNL, or they did. Whatever the reason, we were party to the joke and butt of it at the same time. Oh the shame, rowing up to the start line to the jeers of the other boats. It would be ironic and sweet revenge if we won some races. But no. Bastards.

Despite the crew's dismal performance, we were in the best shapes of our lives (OK, we were also in our late teens). The training was grueling and always at an intensity that got the inner voices chatty. 'round about the 18th or 19th rep of PHCPP's I remembered Akroyd' s (or was it Belushi's, I forget who played first mate) line, "Discipline me, Captain Ned." Someone in my boat threw it out there one miserable practice session. Gallows humor. It got chuckles from the crew and saved the day.

9/30/10:

-50 burpees (3'50)

-10 minutes of power hang-clean push press (40)

-pull-ups w/Fe (2x6)

-dips w/Fe (11,12)

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.9.

3,862

98/64/74-This is a weird reading from my blood-pressure monitor. I don't know if this is an instrument error, a result of training, biofeedback practice, or because I just finished an Asahi Dry.

9/27/10:

-5 min burpees (61)

-10 minutes of squat-clean-thrusters (25)

-weighted pull-ups (2x6)

-weighted dips (10,12)

I took a short breather between the burpees and the squat-clean-thrusters, and short is not recommended. Tired and unmotivated is how I felt throughout those damned SCT's.

3,756

9/28/10

-5 min burpees (56)

-10 min db front squat (45)

-weighted pull-ups

-weighted dips

Although it looks like I took a hit on the burpee front, maybe so, I think there's some hidden progress as this was a straight set, ie. no rests. The day before, I shook the legs out at the 30 rep mark. Overall, I'm underwhelmed considering I did get below 3 minutes for 50 reps not too long ago. Maybe I'm past my sell by date.

The db front squat is my weak point when it comes to thrusters; the presses, not so much. I thought 5 reps per minute was a pace I should shoot for, but did not make it. Oh well.

3,812

102/67/72

2nd date with Hilde

You remember Hilde, Fran's nice friend. I had my second outing with her and it went pretty much the same as the first date. It was embarrassing for me, not that she would ever say anything about it.

Hilde part II:

-50 burpees

-21-15-9 thrusters (2x25 kgs) and pull-ups

Got my time down to 11'47"74, a modest improvement; this after 2 somewhat intense days of training immediately prior. I am tired.

The no-mas-ometer reads 4.0, but just barely. Trying to beat the previous time provided the extra bit of intensity.

3,695

x2

I did the same routine as yesterday, well almost the same. The difference today was I did not use the kitchen timer for the burpees. That's right! Alert the media!

Thursday's workout:
-50 burpees ( no time limit)
-10 minutes of db squat-clean-thrusters (27)

Later on in the day, I'll do a couple sets of weighted pull-ups (same as yesterday, although not noted). Nothing to get excited about here, just six reps per set. The aim is to increase the reps of the squat-clean-thrusters and weighted pull-ups without burning out or getting injured. All of this for a girl named Fran.

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.9. I'm looking for some no-tears, perspiration. So far, I've only got the kind that stings.

3,645

108/69/66

squat-clean-thrusters

At first I didn't know what to call this exercise, but I finally ran across a video. Apparently, it's called a squat clean thruster. It's got everything you need: clean; squat; overhead press. I like the explosive hip element of the clean; the core stability element of catching and standing up with the weight; the glute, quad and ham activation of the squat; and my heart likes it for the 10 minutes of fun with a capital FU.

Wednesday's workout:
-5 min burpees (60)
-10 min multivitamin (23)

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.9.

3,595

106/69/57

a Tabata finisher

puts the jalapeno in the salsa. Without it, I'm left with something vague and mushy.

Today's workout comprised:
-5 minutes burpees (62)
-10 minutes of weighted (24 kg) pull-ups (9x3) and handstand push-ups (9x3)
-Tabata row

It's been a while since I did weighted pull-ups or handstand push-up so I threw them in the mix today. That I ignored them for a long time was apparent. OK, so only 27 pull-ups and HSPU's. Pft. I had to include a Tabata row or the workout would have been almost like an active recovery day activity.

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.6.

3,535

if it looks like a tornado

and acts like a tornado, then it probably is a tornado. Last night a storm passed through New York City and it's environs uprooting tress, knocking over tractor trailers, downing power lines and making a greater hassle of the evening commute. There was one fatality.

I was caught out in the storm with my eldest daughter. Overhead, a large ominous cloud settled over the city like an alien mother ship. Thunder rumbled like distant kettledrums and then we were pelted with hailstones, larger than Chicklets but smaller than M&M's. I mentioned to my daughter how hailstones usually precede tornados. But not to worry, I reassured her, we hardly ever get those. Hah! Luckily, the worst we experienced was a few hailstone beanings and a little drizzle. Other areas got hit hard. News sources seem reluctant to use the "T" word (click the title and see), preferring the ambiguous "tornado-like." Whatever.

if it looks like an ass-kicker:
-5 min burpees
-10 minutes 2x25kg db squats
-Tabata row (Concept 2)

I haven't done this workout. I'm about to, and it has all the characteristics of an ass-kicking workout. I predict pain. I'll edit with my verdict.
-----------
OK, it was an ass-kicker:
-5 min burpees (only 57)
-10 minutes squats (only 8 minutes and 40 squats)
-Tabata row, sucked before and sucked again

I tried something new with the burpees-landing in the down position of the squat instead of catching myself half-standing. I thought I'd give myself a good stretch doing this but the effect was negative. With the squats, I employed the interval timer (30 sec work/rest) but couldn't sustain that pace past the 8 minute mark. I quit before I pulled something or tweaked my back. After a short breather I mounted the rower anticipating a painful 4 minutes. Surprise-only the last 3 minutes hurt.

The no-mas-ometer reads 4.0.

Before I forget.
Yesterday:

-5 min burpees (62)
-10 minutes of single-arm c&p (90)

Wasn't feeling it today doing the c&p. The left arm was balky-weak grip.

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.5

3,416

110/65/59

3,473

she's got a nice personality

Some of you may have heard of Fran, one of Crossfit's most notorious "girls." I'll bet a couple know her personally. Frankly, much as I lust after Fran, she's out of my league. I just don't have the goods: barbell; sturdy pull-up bar; not to mention quads, hammies, erector spinae, rectus abdominus, etc. Fortunately I know a girl just my speed. She looks exactly like Fran, from a certain angle and if the lighting is just so. More importantly, my 2x25 kg dumbbells and doorway pull-up bar (which won't accommodate kipping pull-ups) don't elicit a raised eyebrow of disdain. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Hilde, a nice girl.

Hilde:
-5 minute burpee test (60)
-21-15-9 reps of thrusters and pull-ups (12'42"48)

What can I say? This was a feeble attempt. Thrusters are not my forte. I had to break it up into sets of 5, with lots of heavy breathing. All smoke and no fire, as it were. Same with the pull-ups, but I got those out of the way pretty quickly, even without kipping. With a time of 12'42", it looks like Hilde and I are destined for a long relationship. I bet she'll even give me pointers on Fran, she's that nice.

No mas-ometer says 3.9.

3,354

the first circle of bell

is reserved for the unmotivated. Today's workout is a repeat of the killer workouts from bell, only nastier. Why the the extra bit of nastiness? Call it penance for two days of rest.

It went like this:
-5 minute burpee test (60)
-10 minutes of 2x25 kg db push press (70)
-10 minutes kb squats (106)

The first 15 minutes were not so bad. Sure it's a bit of a struggle to get through the burpees, but that's nothing new. The push presses weren't so bad either. I used my interval timer set to 30 secs work and rest periods and got to 70 reps still feeling a little fresh. It was at this point that I decided to turn up the heat: ten minutes of kb squats.

I don't know what I was whining about before. What did I do that first time? 80 kb squats? Pft.

After this work out, I didn't want just a glass of water. I wanted something to fill my empty tank. I needed the devil's brew- almond milk, hemp protein powder, chocolate syrup, a dash of chili pepper, and crushed ice. That hit the spot.

The no-mas-ometer read 3.8.

108/68/56

3,294

still hurts like bell

I revisited the workout that partially wrecked my weekend: 10 minute kb squats. The second time around was as painful as I remembered it to be; however, I did get in more reps. I cheated.

First things first: 5 minute burpee test. A not so inspiring 58 has me wondering why I'm not progressing. And now for the squats. At the 30th rep, when my back was screaming for some relief a lightbulb went off. Why cradle the kb when I can shoulder it? And so I did. Without releasing the bell I hoisted it to my shoulder and continued squatting. By alternating shoulders I was able to complete 106 reps.

The no-mas-ometer reads 3.2.

112/68/55

3,234

to rest or not to rest

The Labor Day weekend was nothing but rest. I just couldn't muster the energy to workout. There's no doubt that the split-squat routine and the workout from bell contributed to the soreness which made the idea of training unappealing. But, I also decided to make it a caffeine free weekend. This, the lack of java mojo goodness, I suspect partly explains why I wanted to lay in a bean-bag chair all weekend. The readings on my blood pressure monitor reveal my general state of relaxation over the past three days: 112/63/58; 113/60/52; 114/58/55. And here's a reading taken today, after some coffee and a workout: 111/59/80.

Today's workout comprised:
-5 min burpee test (60)
-10 minute, single-arm db c&p (94)

I've hit a wall with the burpees. The db c&p, otoh, still has plenty of room for improvement.

3,176

hurts like 'bell'

This workout comes direct to you from the depths of bell. What you do is grasp a kettlebell and squat for 10 minutes. During that time you may not release the kb at all. That baby is yours-mine is 24 kgs-for the duration. It presses down on you. It saps your strength. It bleeds your will.

For the first thirty reps I was going up and down like clock work-squat, exhale, stand, inhale. Then fatigue threw a wrench in the works-squat, exhale, gasp, sputter, curse, stand, gasp, gasp, cough. By the fiftieth rep I shut my eyes to keep the sweat, flowing in rivulets, from searing my peepers. Now I'm squatting in the dark. WTF!

I stopped at 93 reps, looked at the timer registering zero, and for a moment panicked. Did I set it for 10 seconds? Did it go off minutes before and I missed the alarm? What? And then it beeped letting me know I did complete the exercise.

117/68/54

I am sore. I knew the split squats were going to be murder from my glutes down. I didn't realize my traps would be feeling it too. Ouch. The foam roller, high bounce balls and other implements of muscle pain management beckon.

117/72/60

My resting heart rate is a little elevated today. I wonder if this slight increase is related to the muscle soreness or if it's merely coincidence. If the former, the blood-pressure monitor would very useful for scheduling exercise and recovery days.

that which can be measured can be improved

To help keep track of my progress, my brother in law (BIL) gave me a blood pressure monitor over the weekend. I gave my old one to my dad a while ago, and have been training without an instrument to measure my heart health. I have been making do with an indirect method, the no-mas-ometer, but something more precise was called for. BIL to the rescue.

So what's it say? The Omron digital blood pressure monitor reads 117/68 and a resting heart rate of 56 bpm. Considering my workouts are 15 minutes or less, I'm somewhat satisfied. I'd like to get my resting heart rate much lower and will be tinkering with different exercises and intensity levels to see how much I can get out of the kitchen timer concept.

Tues:
-5 min burpee test (56)
-10 minute db c&p (84)

Wed:
-10 min, 50 kg db split squat (70)
-5 min db test (50)

After a lazy but enjoyable three day weekend these workouts were challenging. The no-mas-ometer averaged 3.3 for the two days.

3,116